Thursday, March 29, 2012

We've Been Chosen!!!

I received an email from E yesterday afternoon.  We don't usually receive emails in the middle of the day from her, so I was instantly nervous.  Then when I started reading the email, I was afraid.  The first line said, I don't think this is the best way to tell you this.  I froze.  Oh my gosh.  She's going to tell us she's gone with some other couple.  Then the next line said that she's been getting to know us for quite some time and has grown to care for us.  I'll be honest.  It still sounded like she was going to "break up" with us.  I couldn't handle it anymore.  I skimmed down through the email to find the part I was waiting for.......And there it was.  The one line that will change our lives forever:  I would love for you guys to adopt my baby boy.  You are the couple I have chosen to adopt my baby.  Oh my gosh.  I just started bawling.  Now that I knew it was good news, I went back and read through the whole email.  It was so sweet and loving.  I hurried and called P, but he didn't answer.  So I sent him a text to call me as soon as he could.  He called me a few minutes later and I could tell he was choked up.  He asked, Did you get the email?  I think we were both crying.  I just wanted him home with me so we could hug and cry and talk!  What an amazing moment.  After we hung up, I just sat in a daze for awhile.  I felt weird.  I don't think weird is the right way to describe it, but I definitely felt different.  The word "son" took on a whole new meaning and it didn't seem to make sense anymore.  I felt like I needed to do something, but I didn't know what to do.  After I composed myself, I called our caseworker to let her know.  After we talked, I was a little calmer, so I started writing our email back to E.  What can you possibly say?  How do you put into words the emotion that you're feeling.  I took my time and just wrote what I felt.  What I would have said if she were in front of me.  Now more than ever I want to meet her.  I want to tell her in person how amazing she is.  I want to hug her and comfort her.  I'm very aware that while P and I are so extremely happy, she is hurting.  She did say she feels peace with her decision, but I still can't imagine that the pain is completely gone.  It still feels unreal.  It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that after 4 years, we are going to be parents.  I keep walking by our office that we will turn into a nursery and thinking to myself, "There's going to be a baby in there".  There is so much to do.  So much to prepare.  I love E so much and am so glad she gets to be a part of our lives forever.


Post a Comment