Monday, October 17, 2011


Well, we had an interesting weekend.  We went out of town to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.  As we were driving Friday night, I checked my email and saw a subject that grabbed my attention:  baby girl.  My heart skipped a beat and then just started beating super fast in my chest.  I shoved the phone in P's face so he could see it as well.  Then I opened the email and began to read:  "Hi.  I saw your profile.  I would like to talk to you.  Can I have a number to call?  I am due Oct. 29th."  I was instantly skeptical.  This didn't seem normal.  It didn't seem in line with the other birth mom's I'd listened to.  I instantly sent the email to our case worker and called her.  She was also skeptical but told me to go ahead and email her back and see if we could get more information.  So I emailed her back to see if we could set up a time to talk the next day.  She emailed me right back and said she really wanted to talk that night and could I send her a number.  So I emailed her back and gave her my number.  Then we waited.  Nothing.  No phone call and no email back.  So we went about our night, checked into our hotel and went to sleep.

The next morning we were woken up by a phone call at 7:00 a.m.  Seriously!  7:00 a.m!  On a Saturday!  I didn't get to my phone in time to answer it, but she called back 10 minutes later.  It was from a Private Number. I answered the phone and we started talking.  She said her name was Kenzlee.  I asked her how she was doing and she said she was having contractions.  I asked her if she was working with a case worker and she said, yes. With LDS.  I asked her the case worker's name and she said it was Rachel Alexander.  It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable.  I started to ask her questions and the phone went dead.  I was confused.  Did she not like us?  Did her phone die?  P and I were still a little skeptical and her voice seemed fake, so we didn't know what to do.  I emailed her back and told her we would love to talk again and to call us back when she could.  And then we waited.  Nothing......until 6:30 that night.

I answered the phone and started talking to her.  She said her contractions were 10 minutes apart.  I asked her if she lived with someone.  She said she lived alone.  I asked if she had family close by.  She said no.  She said she would drive herself to the hospital.  I asked her if she had any friends to take her.  She said no.  I asked if she could contact her case worker and she said no.  So I asked her if she had any questions about us.  She did.  She wanted to know how old we were, if we had always lived in Utah, if we were planning on staying in Utah, if we had any other children, if we were ready to be parents at any time (remember, her due date was 2 weeks away).  She asked what our hobbies were and what we did for work.  Then I started asking her questions.  She said she was in a band and she played guitar and sang.  She liked to read.  She was still in contact with her family and they were in SLC (although just a minute ago she said she didn't have family close by).  She was 19.  She said she really wanted to meet because she was going to have the baby any day and she needed to make a decision.  So I asked her if we could get our case workers to set up a time to meet and then the phone went dead......again.  This time I was more upset.  I felt the only reason she stayed on the phone so long this time was because we were talking about her.  I felt strongly this wasn't a girl who was pregnant, but a girl who was terribly troubled and lonely.  As I told P about the call, I started to cry just a little.  I was so upset that the first contact we'd had was with a  fraud.  It wasn't real.  But we both had felt that it was suspicious from the start, so we had never allowed ourselves to get our hopes up.

That night we got another call from Kenzlee, at 10:30 p.m.  P answered the phone this time.  He asked her why the phone kept dying.  She said she had bad coverage and she had to wait until she had service (uh, really?  You live in SLC).  P said that was fine and he started talking to her.  He asked her if she had a case worker.  She said No (remember Rachel Alexander???).  She said she really needed to talk and meet.  So P asked her if we could meet the next day in SLC.  She could pick the place.  He also asked if she would be ok  working with our case worker because we wanted to make sure she was taken care of.  She said yes, and then once again, the phone went dead.  At this point, I'd had enough.  I just couldn't handle it anymore.  Whoever this girl was, she didn't have a baby.  And if she did, that wasn't the kind of relationship we wanted. I just prayed that we would not hear from her again, and luckily we haven't.  I'm not sure if P scared her off, I'm not sure who she is or what her end game was, but it didn't feel right from the start.  It made me so angry that there are people out there taking advantage of couples who are trying to find their baby.

I am thankful for the practice.  I think it made me know more what to do in the future when we are contacted by our REAL birth mom and how to start a REAL relationship with her.  I pray that this is not the only contact we will have.



Hi! I found your blog due to traffic to mine. I know first hand the heart ache of scams and waiting for news and adoption ups and downs--PLEASE email me if you ever need ANYTHING. I hope and pray you will find your baby soon. Waiting is so incredibly difficult, and it's hard for people who haven't adopted to understand that. I have a few online adoption friends who have helped me. Seriously, feel free to email me if you ever need to vent: rachel dot nielson at hotmail dot com.

It sounds like you handled this scam very well. I would've been a total wreck. HANG IN THERE. I will pray for you, and if you have a blog button or anything, send it to me!!

Post a Comment